EAVESDROP with me on the ether. The mobiles of two teeny texters are white hot with love.

A - U dun it yet?

B - 'course. Tons of times. U?

A - Nah. Savin' myself.

B - Savin'? Changed subjects?

A - Nah!

B - Still on sex?

A - Yep.

B - Not talkin' HSBC, then?

A - Ha! Savin' it 4 marriage.

B - Ark talk, girl. Noah's lot were last to do tt.

A - Cool!

B - U on Ees?

A - Nah. Drugs R out 2.

B - Wotz with U? Sick? Got God?

A - Right on.

B - But you'll miss all the Xxx-ing, lads, sex -

A - and AIDS, abortion, commitment, love, self-respect, meaning -

B - Your God's wicked!

A Yeh, real wicked!

'Course the chances of eavesdropping such a text-versation in England are equal to Accrington Stanley winning the FA Cup.

Not in the USA. Rebellious teenies, sick of sex-mad oldies, are inviting the Inventor and His morals back into that which he invented.

No such uprising here. Our kids conform to schools, TV Soaps and social sorts whose advice rarely rises above condom/pill usage and often excludes the words 'no' or 'wait'.

Result: We're European champions in the teen mum super league.

One final accolade still eludes us: being the first-ever generation to be sued by the rising one for negligent upbringing. One day soon, a canny teen mum will use our crazy litigious age to sue the pants off us post-war permissives.