Those were days, when you had to boil an egg and paint a funny face on it and call it an Easter Egg. The eggs on sale in the supermarket just don't have the same appeal.

But back to more pressing matters. I've never been much of gambler because I always think the whole thing is fixed and some fat cat on Whitehall is making a quid off me one way or another. But I was recently tempted to put some money in to one of those slot machines whilst waiting for my cousins at the airport.

I thought of going for a simple Space Invader-type game but they cost a pound and only last last three minutes - well, you have to get your money's worth!

Those slot machines are complicated, to say the least. I was under the impression you put your 20p in and if three fruits match you win the jackpot. But it doesn't work like that. There are things called nudges, which are apparently worth something.

As soon as I put my money into the machine, a couple of lights began flashing and within seconds a gentleman appeared out of nowhere. It was if he was hiding behind the machine or something.

Who is this guy and where does he come from? Does he get paid for doing this? Is he employed by the company that hires these machines out in an attempt to help the virgin gambler?

He started peering around all the parts of the machine and even got down on his knees like he was an engineer of some sort. He got back up and put his hands on his head and pointed at one of the flashing buttons.

"Listen mate, you wanna press this three times...'

"Why?" I asked like an idiot.

He explained that this meant that and that meant this and, somewhere along the way, I would win some money. All the time the nudges were really important.

I pressed the button three times as directed and lo and behold out popped £1.70 in 10 pence pieces. I paused, collected my winnings and looked over to see my new found friend looking at me in a funny way.

It turns out he wanted me to give him twenty pence and put all my money back into the machine. It's an unwritten rule of some sort.

I handed him his share and made a run for it.

I thought I'd quit while I was ahead.