PICTURE the scene, Mr Blair and his acolytes poring over the asylum statistics, frantically trying to come up with a solution to the ever-increasing tide of humanity flooding into more and more angry communities. What can we do? What on earth will the focus groups make of it? Worst of all, what will "the great unwashed" (the voters to you and me) think?

Then, eureka! A lone voice, a Ms Hughes perhaps, steps forward. "I have got a cunning plan," she says. "We won't call them asylum-seekers, we will refer to them as economic migrants, and, hey presto, the asylum numbers will drop like a stone".

So, Mr Blair brokers a deal with the Romanian leader to let in one-legged roof tilers and the like, while civil servants are told to turn a blind eye to the scam.

Then the inevitable happens; the truth is revealed. The Immigration Minister denies any knowledge of it but when it gets hot in Tony's kitchen, the knives are sharpened. Ms Hughes is dispatched on the altar of public opinion, while Tony washes the blood off his hands and proclaims: "Don't worry, I am taking charge".

If it wasn't so serious, it would have made an hilarious episode of "Yes Minister".

What differentiates this country from those tin pot regimes we are so quick to denigrate, is the incorruptibility of our civil service. That principle has been cynically undermined by what is quickly becoming the most mendacious government of modern times.. Their catalogue of untruths and devious actions since 1997 is appalling.

ONE OF THE UNWASHED