THE President of the United States and the captain of the England football team must secretly be wishing they could somehow turn back time. Were that possible, certain decisions they made would be very different.

Linking George W Bush and David Beckham in the same paragraph may be seen in some quarters as belittling the office of President, after all one (that's Bush) is the most powerful man in the world; the other (the lovely David) merely the highest profile sportsman cum media personality on the planet.

However, were it possible to test who was better known worldwide, there is little doubt that Becks would win by a country mile. And it is a sad indictment of the collective IQ of the Great British Public that the saga of whether Beckham cheated on his pop star wife, the former Posh Spice, is considered far more interesting than the appalling mess in Iraq.

George Dubya must have known it would be a lot easier to win the war than the peace. With Iraq on the brink of total anarchy, the death toll mounting daily, and the spectre of another Vietnam coming back to haunt America and the man in the Oval Office, wouldn't he give his right arm to cancel that triumphant speech, made many months ago, about the war being officially over? I think we have the answer to that one.

Would he have invaded Iraq at all had he known then what he knows now? Only George Dubya can answer that and he's unlikely to do so. Yes, in public he maintains he made the right decision, but what about in private? How can he get himself, the Americans, oh yes, and us, out of this unholy mess?

Well he could apologise to Saddam Hussein for killing his sons, bombing his palaces, forcing him to live a mole-like existence, admit it has all been a terrible mistake, get him to restore order in Iraq (they didn't appear to have too many problems in that department when Saddam was running things), and give him some Weapons of Mass Destruction to make up for the ones the coalition can't find and which were the main reason we went to war in the first place.

That's George Dubya sorted. Now, what about Becks? Did he or didn't he with his former personal assistant Rebecca Loos? Well, a transcript of the string of mobile phone text messages allegedly exchanged between the pair leaves little, if any room for doubt but this, surely, was a disaster waiting to happen in the Beckham household.

Posh, whose limited vocal talents were heavily disguised in the manufactured but brilliantly-managed and hugely successful Spice Girls, has been trying in vain on both sides of the Atlantic to revive her career, leaving hubby alone in Madrid.

He's young, supremely fit, handsome and incredibly wealthy so I can't think why Rebecca Loos and probably nine tenths of the female population of the world, let alone Madrid, wouldn't fancy a tango with Becks. His Mrs must either be very trusting, possibly naive (which I can't believe) or of the opinion that once you've had the best, the rest don't matter. She knows better now.

Bush and Becks. A world in turmoil. When, how and where will it end?