"Nagain bande waknain." He came and saw and ruined my movie. Before you go on it is worth remembering this is a family website and we won't be discussing these things in public.

Oh what the hell..whos going to know?. I got a friend who's got a serious problem. Let me see, how can we put this? Lets just say his favourite programme is 'Mature Mama Meltdown" and he doesn't lock that door because he's got work to do.

In the beginning it was pretty tough even Benny Hill was off the menu. The Carry on films were only really appreciated until the mid nineties because we missed all the best bits. When Bobby Ewing used to get some action we never found out what happened because the channel got switched.

In those days there was no remote control so one person had to sit right next to the TV.

Nowadays it's all so easily available. By day my mate is a preacher and by night he deals in the stuff that makes you go blind. It's what urban Legends are made of.

Want to see something really funny. Just go to the petrol pump really late at night and I guarantee you'll see someone in the magazine section. Looking pretty anxious and nervous with himself.

The worst is when yopu see your uncle at it or some senior family memeber. What does one do? Pretend you didn't see them with the rag in their hands or ask to borrow it when he's finsihed with it?

And even more nervous is the brother behind the counter. I just don't get it or Alley Mcsqueel. The brother is selling these mags and rags then have the nerve to ask you what you aren't doing at mosque. Hey listen up it all starts from the heart so the last thing I need is someone telling me not to glance over at Jordon and company.

Can I also have my movie back please! What really annoys the pants off me is the way some people hog the stuff or borrow it and then don't give it back.

My friend got caught big style. He was supposed to be at college but decide to stay home and do some extra work. His dad came home early from town. He quickly switched the TV off but didn't have time to get the tape out of the video. Unfortunately for him his dad had a Bollywood film of his own and before playing it decided to play the one already in the video. When Asif hit the fan his Sate Pe Satha got exactly what it deserved.