DEAR MASSI, I have been married for ten years and have three children. My husband is a very good and decent man and we have been very happy.

I have never got on with his family but over the past year we have tended to spend more time my in-laws house. Whilst there I was going through the family album and noticed three bundles of pictures hidden at the bottom of the bag.

I peered at them and to my horror I saw my husband on his wedding day with another woman. I was just so shocked. I sat there motionless for a minute thinking about it.

I took one of the pictures and one night confronted my husband. He seemed as shocked me but eventually admitted that he had been married in India but it had not worked out. His first wife had never come to the UK and they have seen very little of each other. It was a year before he married me and he said his parents said not to tell anyone.

I felt so angry with him. I just don't know what to do. If he lied to me about this what else has he not told me? I feel my whole life has been turned upside down.

IL

Burnley

MASSI SAYS,

It may have ben very distressing for you to find out about this in the way you did. It is wrong for your husband to keep this from you. It is also wrong of the family to keep this information from you. You have a right to be angry.

You say though that you have been very happy with your husband and he is a good man. You need to think about the time you married him. Would this news have made you think twice about marrying him?

I think now is the time to ask him if he has any other secrets he has not told you about. If he is sincerely apologetic and as good as person as you say he is then maybe he was very naive in thinking he could keep this information from you.

It may have harmed your trust in him but maybe he was pressured into not telling you by his parents. Maybe they thought it would bring shame on them and harm his chances of marrying again.