YIPPEE, another Bank Holiday. Spring is a great time of year, what with Good Friday, Easter Monday, May Day...hardly a week goes by without a day off work.
And, whatever the weather, a large proportion of the British population know well in advance how they will spend this precious free time.
They will do exactly the same thing that they do every Bank Holiday.
We Brits really know how to make the most of the extra days that we are lucky enough to benefit from.
The majority of us tend to choose from the following options:
A trip to Ikea.
How joyous a feeling it is to drive down the motorway in the full knowledge that more than 10 million people are heading for the same scenic destination.
How wonderful it is, particularly on a hot afternoon, to queue for at least two hours on a slip road before reaching the store and how uplifting an experience to join a long crocodile of people and trail at a snail's through the delights of home furnishings to home office, through kitchens, lighting and storage and back to the car park, where it takes you at least 30 minutes to find your car and another 40 minutes to get out.
DIY (including excursion to the local hospital)
Weekends come and go, but for many people a Bank Holiday is by far the best time to tackle those "to do" jobs that have been neglected for years.
This usually necessitates a trip B&Q, which is obviously a great way to spend a couple of hours.
Later in the day, it is customary to pay a visit to the local accident and emergency department where you will hopefully meet a flood of similar hapless victims who have slipped off ladders while fixing guttering or hammered nails into their fingers while putting up shelves.
A day in a pub beer garden
The day passes so quickly in the garden of a 'fun' pub.
Usually alongside a busy road, these places are perfect for supping ale and eating crisps in the baking hot sun.
It is very liberating to be able to leave young children for hours to play on plastic dinosaurs or elephants.
Sometimes, if you're very lucky, a bungee jumping outfit fixed to the back of a lorry will be set up in the car park offering the once-in-a-lifetime chance to climb to a dizzy height and throw yourself towards the Tarmac below. It's not quite Victoria Falls, but after six pints of Carling who would notice the difference?
A trip to a lay-by in a well-known, extremely popular beauty spot in a national park
Who needs miles of open space to enjoy an area of outstanding natural beauty?
You can relax just as easily in a lay-by the side of the road that is home to three-dozen cars, a toilet block and an ice cream van.
If you take along a little fold-up table and a portable barbecue you'll make lots of new friends.
We really know how to enjoy ourselves. Make the most of today.
Tomorrow morning you'll be back at your desk.
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