Hush hush sex

Marriage guidance workers at Relate Lancashire are bewildered as to why East Lancashire people are unwilling to discuss their sex lives at regular advice sessions in Burnley, Rossendale and Blackburn. The service has proved so popular in neighbouring Preston that there are currently 14 couples on a waiting list to be seen.

Therapists have held 64 advice sessions there since April - but uptake in East Lancashire is so poor that Relate is considering transferring therapists to other areas.

Vicky Cuthbertson, manager at the Relate centre said: "We really can't understand why the service is not used by people in this area. Maybe they are shy or embarrassed but our therapists are highly trained and are there to help couples.

"The counsellor will let them talk completely openly without judgement or giving them personal opinion.

"It could just be that the people in the Blackburn area are having such fulfilling sex lives that they don't need us."

Penny Dutton, the Blackburn centre supervisor and sex therapist, added: "

People do not have to suffer in silence or accept an unsatisfying sex life.

"There is no evidence to suggest that the people of Preston have more relationship problems than those in East Lancashire, so it must be another factor stopping them from coming forward.

"The service runs on a supply and demand basis. Local couples could miss out on valuable help as our therapists are moved to Preston to cope with demand."

There have been a number of suggestions about why the service is struggling.

Lancashire Evening Telegraph columnist Margo Grimshaw said: "I think those that talk about it do it the least, so draw your own conclusions from that.

"I think in Preston talk about it more but we would probably beat them at actually doing it!

"Seriously, it is a private thing and I think people like to keep it that way."

Jim Hall, 73, and his wife Eileen, of Roe Lee, Blackburn, have been happily married since 1954 and celebrated their golden wedding anniversary earlier this year. Eileen, 68, puts the success of their marriage down to communication and said she understood couples' reluctance to talk about sex with a stranger.

"People in this area are very reserved when it comes to things like that.

"People want to sort themselves out without anyone else knowing their problems."

For information on Relate's services contact 01772 717597.

Sex: It's just not talk of the town

MARRIAGE guidance experts say people in East Lancashire don't want to talk about their sex lives.

Reporter CAROLINE INNES went into Blackburn town centre to ask some bashful townsfolk whether they would discuss what went on between the sheets in a bid to stay with their partners.

WHEN it comes to sex, many people are so coy that they won't even give their names when they are talking about it.

However, the braver ones proved that although the people of Blackburn don't want to talk about sex, it doesn't mean that they are not doing it.

Marion Walsh, of Marlin's Ladies Fashions, sells women's underwear so knows a thing or two about the town's love life. She said: "People tend to be quite reserved in Blackburn, especially if they are talking to a stranger.

"They might not talk about sex but we sell a lot of sexy underwear for Valentine's Day and some racy stuff."

Mandy Phillips, from 'Girly Bits' fashion and saucy outfit shop in the market, said: "Blackburn is still a very traditional town and a lot of people still think that sex shouldn't be spoken about.

"It has a stigma attached to it, like stress.

"I think more traditional people would feel foolish discussing their problems with someone like a sex therapist."

Kev, who didn't want to give his last name, is convinced that romance is flourishing in Blackburn. He knows because he works at Highams Florist and has daily visits from men who want to treat the woman in their life with some flowers.

"I just think people are shy when it comes to discussing sex," he said.

The general consensus seemed to be that the people in Blackburn don't want to talk about sex either through shyness, embarrassment or because they believe it is a private matter.

Samantha Phillips, from Bossy Boots shoe shop, agrees that sex is still a taboo subject but wonders whether if people were more open about sex, statistics such as teenage pregnancies in the area may improve.

"I know that sex is on television a lot but some of it is irresponsible and sends out the wrong messages to youngsters," she said.

"Chatting about sex with your mates is very different to talking about problems you have in the bedroom with somebody you love."