THE greatest show on earth is only a week old and it didn't take me long to get confused as to what is a sport and what isn't.

It used to be so simple didn't it? The runners ran, the swimmers swam and people who could throw chucked things as far as they could.

But while I enjoy watching beach volleyball should you really get an Olympic medal for it?

They are, after all, in their swim suits and on a beach. It's a holiday sport isn't it? They're all having a laugh aren't they?

I know I'm being a bit harsh but maybe we should have Olympic medals for things we are all good at.

Bring the Olympics out to the masses as they say.

How about 'Doing nothing on a Sunday afternoon' or 'Pram pushing through a crowded town centre.'? Or even 'Serving food at an Asian wedding'.

I can tell you now I would enter all of these categories and bring home three gold medals for Great Britain.

On a less serious note. Life is not about getting deals.

I have noticed in this day and age it harder to get a deal but it won't stop people trying.

That extra penny always matters doesn't it. Even for those who are richer than the rest of us.

'Oh, can you please give me discount'...'Can you do better than 100 per cent off?'...'If it's free what do I have to pay?'...'What if I give you ten pounds now and pay you the other £990 in the next lifetime.'

I understand fully.

There is nothing wrong with haggling but doing so and holding the queue up is something that simply angers me.

It has got so prevalent that even I feel I have to haggle like there's no tomorrow.

Why? Because even when I'm not, I still think I'm getting ripped off.

It's the feeling inside and I just can't help saying...'Oh, so what can you do it for?'

It's like it's been programmed into my skull and some mysterious overlord is controlling my actions.

If I don't try to get a deal I get the feeling the shopkeeper is going to go in the backroom and laugh at me.

The women also put pressure on us.

If they can get twenty per cent off they make sure their husbands can too.

'So you got nothing off! what kind of man are you? You're always paying too much for things.'

'Look at so and so's husbands - he hasn't even got a degree and he gets £40 off their new bed.'

I think I've got another idea for an Olympic sport.