YOU have to give the government credit for trying to do something about the nation's health, not that the nation appears to be taking much notice, judging by the number of people waddling across towns and cities, clutching cigs, burgers, cakes, chocolate bars and pretty much everything else on the banned list.

Opting for the policy 'Catch them young', schools are being encouraged to present meals short on fat and long on food beneficial to the recipients. Fruit, veg, the sort of good, wholesome stuff much admired by nutritionists and rosy-cheeked folk in the shires.

The trouble is only a relatively small percentage of us live in the shires. They cook their food straight from the ground, farmyard, smallholding, whatever. We townies can't as developers have built on our allotments and the organic produce sold in supermarkets can rattle up the check-out total, making it appear expensive and therefore less attractive than the pre-packed stuff.

It may be only a few pence on each individual item but those few pence mount up and people on limited income, or one-parent families, have to watch the pennies just to survive.

It's all well and good recommending healthy eating but try talking to people whose staple diet revolves around, bread, chips, beans, fry-ups and fast food, because, Tony, that's all they can afford.

Perhaps we could have some inspired calculations from Gordon, your mate at Number 11, with financial inducements on recommended food, making it more affordable. People would surely go for that, though the strident chorus from the anti-smoking lobby is creating a smoke screen (no pun intended) across the whole issue of health.

They want smoking in public places banned and the acceptable age for buying tobacco raised from 16 to 18, with suggestions it should be 21. One phone poll recommended denying NHS care to smokers on the grounds that they had brought their illnesses upon themselves. No mention was made of the fact that the same people have very probably been paying National Insurance and chunks of income tax while sneaking off to the smoking room for a quick drag. But, hey, aren't we going a tad potty here?

You cannot be serious about trying to drastically cut smoking or, horror of horrors, ban it altogether. Think of the nightmare scenario. Where would Gordon get his billions so Tony could continue to commit the UK to an irresponsible, unwinnable war?

Petrol and booze would go through the roof. Surely I can't be the only one who thinks scrapping the proposed extension to the Manchester tram scheme has more to do with keeping vehicles on the road, thereby milking the ever-reliable cash cow known as the motorist, than the billions it is estimated it will cost. Exactly who is counting the cost of Iraq?

Healthy eating and smoker-bashing. Great ideas. Won't work, Tony. So next time you see a fatty with a roll-up, give him one of those matinee idol smiles. He'll almost certainly be a skint Labour voter from Lancashire.