And so to those who don't have a chance in hell to get anywhere like me.

By which I mean the people who suddenly see the light and transform from complete nobody's to respectibility. It's as if they planned it the sons of a guns.

For years you used to go drinking, womanising and smoking weed as if there was no tommorrow and then just like that you want us to believe you gave it all up. And the worse thing they want you to join them in their quest for enlightenment.

Let me bring the whole Last Bit to a halt for a moment. Before you were a complete 'P*** C****' and now you make me look like one.

If you didn't mess around in the first place like an idiot you wouldn't need to go through this transformation. And for those of us who didn't committ any of the carnel sins above...we have to listen to it for the next ten years.

It's amazing how the transformation takes place for those naughty men and women. First it all free and single and getting it on with anything that moved. Then the slow realisation there is something more to life than the 'club shub' and 'party shartee'.

Within days the whole outlook has changed...usually brought about by marriage, lack of marriage or girlfriend / boyfriend trouble. Then the preaching to the masses who used to preach to you in the olden days, begins.

You just remembered now that there is there a God? Where was the redeemer before? Where was the idea of forgiveness when you broke my windows and hit my best friend Martin?

Just because you speak in a gentle voice now doesn't mean I'm going to let you off that five quid you owe me.

Well it's better late than never and we shouldn't mock people just because they have become better people. We should celebrate it because it is not nice to be envious.