Married at 15 and then raped, beaten and forced to have child after child. That's what happened to one Lancashire woman, who's now fighting to help others. BY JENNY SCOTT
As a teenager, Nazia (not her real name) was known by her teachers and friends as a bright, vivacious girl. She worked hard at school, achieved good grades and dreamed of going to university and travelling the world.
But her hopes were brought to an abrupt halt when, at the age of 15, she was forced by her family into a marriage with a man she'd never met before who was nearly 20 years her senior.
Overnight, her life changed from that of a happy, free-spirited child into that of a bullied wife, subject to beatings, raped by her husband and forced to have child after child whether she wanted them or not.
"I didn't believe my parents when they first told me I was getting married," said Nazia.
"I didn't think people could get married until they were 16."
The fact that the law in both Britain and Pakistan sets the age of consent at 16 did not, however, stop Nazia's family arranging for her to travel out to Pakistan to be married.
The wedding itself was a sombre occasion, rigorously controlled by her family.
"I didn't feel like it was my wedding at all," said Nazia, sorrowfully.
On her wedding night, she had no idea what to expect.
"I didn't know anything about sex," she said. "My parents never discussed the sexual side of things with me and I wasn't ready for that."
At first, Nazia allowed her husband to have sex with her, but later changed her mind. However, he showed little patience with her naivety and forced her to sleep with him.
She moved to her husband's home in Pakistan and, isolated in a town where she had no friends or family, she said daily life with a man she hardly knew became increasingly horrific.
"I used to live in fear in my own home. At 5pm, I used to dread him coming home from work.
"He would get very angry about petty, little things. One day I got beaten up because I had ironed his shirt and laid it down on the bed with the sleeve turned inwards, so it creased slightly."
Within a few months of marriage Nazia was pregnant with her first child.
"I had three children within four years," she said. "And the violence became worse. When I was pregnant, he used to kick me in the stomach and pull my hair."
For the birth of her children Nazia returned to Lancashire to live with her family, but they refused to support her in her efforts to leave her husband - even when he followed her to Britain.
"I didn't feel there was anybody I could turn to," she said.
"At 16, there was no way I could leave home with a child. And there were no health professionals asking, 'Why are you having a child at 16?' I was desperate for somebody to offer me some help."
Trapped in her unhappy marriage, Nazia began to feel suicidal. She was unable to breast-feed her son because she was on anti-depressants, which stopped her producing milk.
However, as her children grew older, they helped her to feel stronger.
Finally, after seven years of marriage, she called the police. They arrested her husband, but were forced to release him because Nazia was too frightened to press charges. However, thanks to Nazia's bravery, her husband's attitude had begun to change.
"After I called the police, he would put his fist in my face but he wouldn't actually hit me. He stopped when he saw I wasn't scared any more."
By then, both Nazia and her husband both wanted to abandon their unhappy marriage, but they were stopped by her family who feared such a move would tarnish their reputation. However, when her husband finally walked out Nazia refused to allow him back.
"My parents actually wanted me to give him the kids," she said. "I have found it so difficult to forgive them for that, but now they've started to realise they were wrong and we are on speaking terms again."
Buoyed by her new-found strength and freedom, Nazia is determined to speak out on behalf of other powerless women, whom she says could all too easily be caught in the same trap she was. The issue of forced marriage, she says, comes down to cultural tradition, rather than religion.
"Many women trapped in marriages like mine will not consider the option of divorce because they fear shaming their family name," she said. "That was one of the reasons I took the abuse for so long.
"But the Muslim religion doesn't allow anyone to treat me that way. The Qur'an teaches us to value our bodies and our health. If people followed their religion you wouldn't see any of these issues coming about."
A reluctance to educate young people about sex is another cultural relic Nazia would like to see swept away.
"My parents never talked to me about my role as a wife before I was married," she said. "People in the Asian community need to talk openly about sexual health, as well as giving women more of a say over how many children they want.
"I just want to go out to other women and say don't take it - forced marriage, domestic violence or any sort of abuse."
Despite having had no control over how many children she had, Nazia says it was they who pulled her through her darkest hours.
"They have been through so much," she said. "When my husband used to beat me up, he would leave me for dead and it was my children who would comfort me and wipe my tears away."
Today, the bright and ambitious schoolgirl is a talented, driven woman, keen to kick-start her life and reach out to those who might be suffering similar abuse.
"I think I have come a long way. I am a changed person now," she said.
"I try not to feel bitter. Violence like that is not something you can forget about, but you try not to think, 'Why did it happen to me?'
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