7.59am: Receive Text message wishing me Eid Mubarak

8.15am: Wake up, have a shower for once and get ready for Eid prayers

8.44am: Make my way to mosque

8.46am: My wudu breaks so have to do it again.

8.57am: Arrive at mosque

9.14am: Finish Eid prayers and have to hug fat bloke next to me.

9.15am: Fat bloke is still hugging me and I think he's got one of those old Nokia's in his pocket

9.19am: I'm all hugged out and decide to make a break for it.

9.21am: Can't find my shoes

9.23am: Still can't find my shoes

9.35am: Some ******'* nicked my shoes!

9.36am: No they haven't they were on the bottom shelf.

9.50am: Arrive home and receive another text message.

9.55am: Get changed into REAL Eid clothes.

9.56am: Rush downstairs and take Eid money off dad.

10.11am: Decide to visit mate's house.

11.12am: Still at mate's house - he's not even ready.

12.35pm: Get into friend's motor.

12.36pm: We begin to argue about what we should do.

1.58pm: Decide to drive around in circles with loud music on.

2.30pm: Still driving around but only the mingers are giving us any looks.

2.45pm: Notice everyone else is doing the same thing.

3.33pm: End up in traffic jam on the Range.

5.34pm: We haven't moved a spot and I need to take a whizz.

5.44pm: Use old bottle.

5.46pm: Overflow into empty can

6.06pm: Head for Manchester.

7.01pm: Arrive in Manchester. Drive around a bit before having a curry.

7.30pm: Stingy Asfa won't pay for his share of meal.

7.42pm: Still on the curry mile and just passing time now.

8.02pm: Let off a firework.

8.15am: Get told off by cops.

8.16pm: Claim racism and whiplash

8.17pm: Retract comment after officer pulls out video camera

8.31pm: One of the boys pulls out booze bottle with a paper bag round it.

8.33pm: He pretends to be P******.

8.35pm: I realise it is bottle I used earlier.

8.37pm: Decide not to tell him.

9.04pm: Meet some women

9.05pm: Women tell us to get lost.

9.06pm: Harass them for a bit.

9.37pm: Decide to follow women..maybe they'll give in.

10.11pm: Finally give up and head back home.

11.05pm: Arrive home and decide it's been a good day.

11.57pm: Receive text message.