DEAR MASSI,
I was hoping to get married next year to this guy but I have found out a terrible secret about him.
I am 17 years old and he is 32. I have only told my best friend about the relationship and she thinks I am stupid for getting involved with someone who is 15 years older than me.
I have just found out though that he is already married and has two children. One of them is 10 years old. I feel so cheated.
I became suspicious because he only used to let me ring him during the day. He said he worked at night and his boss didn't allow him to take calls during work hours.
One of my friends also said she saw him in a car with another woman. When I asked him he said it was his sister. I can't believe I fell for all his lies.
Finally, he admitted everything and says he is going to leave his wife. I am not so sure about everything now but I still can't stop feeling for him.
I want to believe him but my friend says I should stop seeing him altogether. I am so confused but when I don't speak to him for one day I always end up ringing him.
GH Manchester
MASSI SAYS,
First of all I think the advice of your best friend is very good. She seems to be level headed and could have stopped you from getting yourself into such a mess. If only you had listened to her.
This man it seems has played with your emotions and will continue to do so until you make the bold move and stop seeing him. He is a married man and from what you say has no intention of leaving his wife. If he had he would have told you he was married in the first place and told his wife of his intentions.
He has lied and then lied again and will carry on lying because he knows full well you will forgive him. It is difficult when someone does this to you and it must be especially hard for you because you still only 17. The age difference between you and this man is far too great. Even if he wasn't married I would still suggest you leave him!
You must try to take at least one day at a time and not to ring him. And you will find that slowly you don't need him anymore.
I am sure your best friend will be there to support and try to listen to her advice and take it seriously. After all she is looking out for you more than anyone else.
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