We see lots of buzzwords bandied around, especially about mental health and wellbeing. One term is 'gaslighting'. But what does it really mean? And how can it affect our mental health and wellbeing?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one person tries to convince another their perceptions of reality are wrong or inaccurate. It can be a very subtle or overt form of manipulation and can have a devastating impact on a person's self-esteem and sense of reality.

The term originates from a play and film of the same name, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind by subtly altering her surroundings and denying her own experiences.

While the story is fictional, the concept of gaslighting is real and can happen in any relationship.

There are many signs of gaslighting, and it's important to be aware of them so you can protect yourself and others. Some of the most common signs include:

• Denying your feelings or experiences. One of the most common tactics used by gaslighters. They may tell you that you're being overly sensitive, dramatic, or imagining things.

• Minimising your concerns. Gaslighters may try to downplay your problems or make you feel like you're not worth worrying about.

• Trivialising your achievements - trying to make you feel like you're not capable of anything.

• Blaming you for their own problems - trying to make you feel guilty for their own shortcomings.

• Isolating you from friends and family - cutting you off from your support system.

• Intimidating you - using threats or violence to keep you under their control.

• Projecting their own feelings onto you - trying to make you believe you have the same negative feelings they do.

• Gaslighting you about your memory - trying to convince you that you can't remember things correctly.

• Using confusing language - using confusing or contradictory language to keep you off balance.

• Making you question your sanity - trying to make you doubt your own perceptions of reality.

Gaslighting can have a devastating impact on a person's mental health and well-being. It can lead to feelings of confusion, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem.

If you think you may be being gaslighted, it's important to reach out to someone you can trust. Many people who have been on the receiving end of this type of coercive control may feel ashamed and embarrassed – don’t be.

Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com