A family from Whitworth is sharing their own story after a midwife suggested they abort their baby, who has Down’s syndrome, saying she was “incompatible with life”.
Andy and Charlotte said medical professionals spotted fluid around the baby’s neck at the 12-week scan. They were told that their baby could die in pregnancy or shortly after birth.
The couple went against the suggestions of an abortion and are now documenting two-and-a-half-year-old Hallie’s life on a Facebook page. They say she is "smashing her milestones".
Andy, 35, said: “We went for Hallie’s 12-week scan after a nurse discovered fluid at the back of her neck.
“A midwife told us about the fluid at the back of the neck. Her words, straight away, were ‘the baby is not compatible with life’.
“She said my baby [could] either die in pregnancy or shortly after birth and that we really needed to consider a termination.”
The midwife also encouraged the couple to think about their other children and the impact having a disabled child would have on them.
Andy said: “She said we really need to consider our other children and what it would do to them. She said the baby would be a burden to my other children.
“That midwife ruined our experience. Throughout the pregnancy, labour and the first year of her life, when she was ill with respiratory infections, I kept thinking ‘is this midwife’s prediction going to come through? Is she going to die?’
“It put me on edge thinking I was going to lose my baby.”
The couple said ‘around 90 per cent’ of opinions given by medical professionals was negative. Even the night before giving birth a doctor reminded Charlotte that she ‘still had choices’.
Andy said: “Doctors and midwives told us ‘we had options’ throughout the pregnancy and their ‘option’ was having a termination.
“We got really sick of being told about this. We asked them to put in the maternity notes that we are having Hallie and will not be having an abortion.”
Charlotte has worked with disabled children but Andy said he did not have any experience with children with disabilities and was initially considering the recommendation of medical professionals.
Andy said: “Charlotte has worked with children with disabilities for most of her working life but my only experience is seeing Down’s syndrome kids with their parents.
“I hate to say it now but I was against having her. I didn’t want to lose my baby but I didn’t want my other kids to start to love Hallie and then lose her. I thought I needed to do right by my other children.”
Charlotte and Andy have been sharing Hallie’s journey on Facebook. Ups, Downs and Everything Inbetween – Hallie’s Journey, documents the highs and lows of having a child with Down’s syndrome.
They said they struggled to find unbiased information after being told that Hallie had Down’s syndrome.
Andy said: “We asked Google what life is like with a Down’s syndrome child, which you should never do. It was mostly negative. The pictures and illustrations were so outdated.
“It put the fear of God into us. Charlotte knew better, because of her work background, but for me searching that was the worst thing I could have ever done.
“When we found out that Hallie had Down’s syndrome there wasn’t an unbiased view of what life would be like. We weren’t sign-posted to any support groups or other parents in our situation. We had to go out and find that for ourselves.
“We came across a really good group called ‘Wouldn’t Change A Thing’.
“Our Facebook page is as the name suggests – ups, downs and everything in between. We don’t just share the good things, we also share videos about the lows.
“We try to be very balanced with what we show. There are some downsides and trying times. You have to be a strong family to get through them but the ups and highs far outweigh the lows.”
Charlotte said: “We hope this article can help other families in our situation. We were never given the information to make an informed choice. Had I not had the background I did, our outcome could have been very different.
“90 per cent of the information we were given from medical professionals was very negative.”
Andy said Hallie is thriving, despite what some medical professionals believed.
“Hallie never stops smiling and laughing,” he said. “She is the happiest child you will ever meet. She has her own lovely personality, she’s a hurricane. She constantly makes you smile and we are always in awe of her determination.”
Follow Hallie’s journey by searching Ups, Downs and Everything Inbetween – Hallie’s Journey on Facebook.
If you have a Down's syndrome child support groups are available including:
- www.wouldntchangeathing.org
- positiveaboutdownsyndrome.co.ukwww.
- www.eastlancsds.com
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