Perfectionism, it’s another one of those words often tossed around casually, but it carries a weight that many of us underestimate.

While striving for excellence is something many of us are encouraged to do, perfectionism is a different thing altogether. It’s the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, an unattainable goal that can have a real impact on our mental wellbeing.

Why do some people become perfectionists? The roots often lie in childhood. Perhaps they grew up in a highly critical environment, where worth was equated with achievement. Or maybe they experienced significant failures early on, leading to a desperate need to avoid them at all costs. Genetic predisposition is also said to play a role. In more recent years, we have the input from social media which can fuel insecurities.

Perfectionists share many common traits. They set impossibly high standards, are overly self-critical, and fear failure intensely. Procrastination is another common trait, as they dread falling short. They may also be people-pleasers, desperate for approval.

The impact of perfectionism on mental health is undeniable. It can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. The constant pressure to be perfect can erode self-esteem and create a vicious cycle of self-doubt. Perfectionists may also experience physical symptoms such as insomnia, headaches, and digestive issues.

Social relationships can suffer as well. Perfectionists may isolate themselves, fearing judgment.

Their need for control can strain relationships, as they struggle to delegate or compromise, or they engage in controlling or critical behaviour towards others.

While perfectionism can be a challenging habit to break, it is possible to overcome. The first step is self-awareness.

Recognising the patterns of perfectionism in your life is crucial. Challenge your all-or-nothing thinking. Remember, progress, not perfection, is key.

Practicing self-compassion is essential. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Learn to embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth. Setting realistic goals and celebrating small victories can also help.

Building a support system is vital. Talking to friends, family, or others can provide invaluable perspective. Joining a support group can also be beneficial.

Remember, perfection is an illusion. It’s okay to be imperfect. By understanding the nature of perfectionism and taking steps to challenge it, you can reclaim your mental health. Remember, you are enough, just as you are.

n Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com