I received a couple of emails last week, following on from my article about suicide.
In the UK, three in every four suicides are men. Of course, each case is individual, and there are many different reasons someone may take their own life.
However, one thing that can particularly affect the mental health of any of us is bullying.
Bullying can cause mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can also lead to problems in relationships, at work, and at school.
Men are particularly vulnerable to the negative effects of bullying. This is because they are often reluctant to show their emotions, and frequently bottle up their feelings. This can make it difficult for them to seek help when they are being bullied.
Bullying can make people feel isolated, worthless, and ashamed. It can also lead to low self-esteem, self-harm, and even suicide.
In some cases, the effects of bullying can last a lifetime. People who were bullied as children may have difficulty forming healthy relationships. They may also have trouble trusting others and may be more likely to experience depression and anxiety.
The words used against us as children can have a lasting impact. They can stay with us long after the bullying has stopped and can resurface in times of stress. This is because our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones, it is part of our survival mechanism.
Banter is often seen as a harmless form of teasing. However, it can be hurtful and damaging, especially if it is used to target someone's vulnerabilities.
It is important to be aware of the impact banter can have. If you are unsure of whether or not something is appropriate, it is always best to err on the side of caution.
This also applies to what you say to yourself. If we repeatedly tell ourselves we’re not good enough, or we are inadequate in some way, it becomes part of our own beliefs.
Sometimes, just talking to others, and feeling connected can be really helpful. It can increase our sense of self-esteem, and help us to put aside the negative thoughts we may have about ourselves.
A national organisation that does great work is Andy’s Man club. A weekly meet-up where blokes can just talk, without judgement or pressure. They have one every Monday night at Ewood Park. You can go to www.facebook.com/andysmanclubblackburn/
Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com
If you are in a mental health crisis go to your GP or A&E, call Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258.
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