Former Hollyoaks star Gemma Atkinson has opened up about losing her dad to a heart attack when she was just 17 years old and how she coped with the grief.

The 38-year-old discussed the impact this trauma had on her on her podcast, The Overshare, with contributor Andrea, and expert Abi, who similarly experienced grief after her mum died.

The episode heard from people who have all suffered different types of grief and shared some of the toughest times in their life.

Speaking about her dad, David, on the podcast, Gemma said: “I was 17 when my dad passed away and it was very sudden. I have a big sister Nina, she is seven years older than me so I relied on my sister and my mum to get me through it, they were the matriarchs, the older ones.

“And it’s only now, being a mum myself, as a parent if you’ve got other children you kind of have no choice, because you’re the matriarch, you’re the one who they depend on and they are going to ask the questions to.

“And so it’s like you’re wearing a mask all day because you want explain to them where their little brother or nana is, but at the same time, you’re dealing with so much. It’s a lot to take on, it’s horrible.”

 

Gemma shared that one of her coping mechanisms was by speaking about it. She said: “I feel like if I don’t mention it, it didn’t happen and it’s fine. I’ve realised in the long run, it doesn’t help anyone, it certainly doesn’t help me.”

Bury-born Gemma added that when her dad had died, she never saw her grandma cry over the death of her son David, as she cried in private instead everyday.

She added: “That’s like me, I guess I get it from my grandma because I guess people deal with grief differently… but from a mum’s point of view, if you’re not right it does manifest in the kids, no matter how hard we try.

“You have to be able to get up, get the breakfast sorted, check in on them, make sure they’re okay. And sometimes it’s like, hang on a minute what about me? Who’s checking on me? Everyone’s kind of in peace, and I’m in pieces.”

After her dad died, Gemma and her family made a pact that they would not be afraid to talk about him and thanked her family for helping her to get through and cope with the grief.

The mother-of-two has recently become a patron for Grief Encounter which is a charity dedicated to helping bereaved children and families.

She is also president of Bleakholt Animal Sanctuary in Edenfield. 

You can listen to the full Coping with Grief episode on Gemma’s podcast, The Overshare on Apple Podcast.