Certain times of the year and major events can be flashpoints for domestic abuse of all types. With the festive season on our doorstep and the World Cup yet to reach its climax, situations in some households could become tense and even reach boiling point.

Domestic abuse needn’t be just physical. In many cases, the build-up to a physical assault by one partner on another starts with psychological abuse. In an abusive relationship, things can be every bit as much about gaining control as they can about inflicting physical violence.

This can be in the form of coercive and controlling behaviour. This abuse may be very subtle at first, such as gradually restricting a person’s contact with family and friends. Knocking someone’s self-confidence bit by bit.

Criticising their appearance, behaviour, the way they talk, interact with others, and their choices of clothing. In fact, anything at all that can undermine a person’s opinion of themselves or cause self-doubt.

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This type of abuse can build up over a number of months or even years, slowly chipping away at a person until they get to the point where they feel that is how a relationship is meant to be, or that they have done something to deserve this type of treatment.

An abuser can often make their victim feel that nobody else will want them. They can be made to feel totally worthless, leading to them feeling completely trapped and isolated.

Psychological abusers can be male or female, as can physical abusers. Research shows one in four women and one in six men will experience some form of domestic abuse in their lifetime.

Any type of abuse will affect the mental health and well-being of the person on the receiving end of it.

Victims of psychological abuse may feel they are not really victims as they have not been physically hurt or have no bruises to show. Many may feel they will not be believed or taken seriously.

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All couples have disagreements from time to time, it’s part of life. However, if you are afraid of your partner then the chances are you are in an abusive relationship.

If anything I have said here resonates with you, and you feel you would like help, the following local and national services are there for you and are well-positioned to offer confidential support and advice:

  • Lancashire Victims Services - 0300 3230085
  • Respect Men’s Advice Line - 0808 8010327 
  • National Domestic Violence Helpline - 0808 2000247

Next week – five top tips to help you cope with Christmas.

If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others then please contact your GP, the Samaritans on 116 123 or attend A&E.