Grief: How to cope with loss

Politics, wars and other matters take over the front pages. "Life goes on", as they say. It’s an expression frequently used to console someone who is grieving.

When it comes to losing someone we are close to, we are all different in terms of how long it takes to adjust so that we can move on personally. There are several, common stages of grief when we have lost somebody.

These will alter from person to person and depending on the circumstances of the loss the order of them may change, the length of each stage can vary - not everyone will experience each stage.

Losing an aged parent is a different experience to losing a child, our reactions will be very different. The same can be said of losing someone in an accident compared to someone whose life has naturally reached the end.

There are other types of bereavement, such as the loss of a job, a close relationship, or the death of a much-loved pet. Any loss leaves a hole, and you will grieve for it.

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We may typically go through feelings of shock, anger, denial, loneliness, sadness, guilt and acceptance. It is only once we get to the acceptance stage that we can truly begin to move on with our lives. Although it may well be in a very different way from how our life was before the loss.

Frequently one of the most difficult periods is the first year following the loss. You are most likely to remember what you or they were doing the previous year as each important date comes up on the calendar. This is a perfectly normal part of the grieving process.

The public grief we witnessed in recent weeks, for a Queen who had led a long and full life was very different from the outpourings we saw when Princess Diana was killed in her prime.

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In the case of Diana, there was a complete sense of shock and disbelief. The gatherings had a very different feel for the loss of Her Majesty. Many people came together to share memories of her, to celebrate her life, with some sadness but also with a sense of admiration for her long reign.

Both events had one thing in common, people came together throughout the country. They sought comfort from each other, and they sought a connection with others who had similar feelings, or similar experiences to share.

Many people were talking about how the Queen had reminded them of their loss of a parent or grandparent. This has caused some people to become upset and reactivated their grief for their particular loss.

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Again this is perfectly normal, our minds are just seeking comfort from within and that all-important connection with others. If you are feeling isolated, unsure about the future or affected by grief in any way, there are many free services out there that can help you. Some offer help for specific types of loss, far too many to list here.

A good place to start is Cruse Bereavement Care which offers face-to-face, telephone and online support for people who have experienced any type of loss. They have a freephone number 0808 808 1677 or see their website here.

With autumn well and truly here, next week I will be taking a look at how to beat off the winter blues and take care of your mental well-being.

If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others then please contact your GP, the Samaritans on 116 123 or attend A&E.