The number of men who take their own life exceeds that of women many times over.
The biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK is suicide. It’s a difficult subject to talk about, but these facts cannot, and should not, be ignored.
There are many reasons why someone may feel their life is no longer worth living. I won’t pretend that all problems can be easily sorted out, and all situations resolved.
However, for many men who contemplate taking their own life, the build-up to that point has not always been obvious to those around them, such as their families and colleagues.
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Quite often when someone has died by suicide those around them just did not see it coming. "If only they had said something" is a common reaction.
This could indicate that the men in question did not talk to their families and friends or reach out elsewhere. There could, of course, be many reasons for this, not least the fact that traditionally men find it difficult to talk.
Part of this can perhaps be put down to society in general and the traditional expectations. Think of some commonplace throwaway sentences such as "Boys don’t cry", "Men shouldn’t get scared" and "A man should provide for his family". How many times do we hear the expression "Man-Up"?
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All of these things can become buried deep into someone’s subconscious and can really play on their mind when they are already in a difficult situation.
They can add to the inability to see a positive way forward. During such times the negative side of our minds see everything from the worst possible perspective.
Let’s face it – if you are overwhelmed by things, if you cannot see a way out – then the thought of even trying to get things sorted by yourself will make you feel even more isolated and scared.
If you really are struggling at the moment, or you know of someone who may be, there really is a lot of help out there, you are not alone.
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Just imagine for a moment if you could meet up with other guys in an atmosphere that was different from the usual blokeish, competitive, macho atmosphere you might associate with a men’s meeting.
An atmosphere where you can feel supported, understood and realise that you are not alone.
Well, the good news is there are numerous groups, including some great local ones where men can go along and chat with others. They offer a chance for people to feel supported, understood and to help them to know they are not alone, no matter how bad things may seem.
Next week I am going to be taking a look at anger management and why some people have a tendency to fly off the handle easily.
Where to find help locally
Andy’s Man Club runs every Monday from 7pm at Ewood Park in Darwen End – you can find your nearest one here.
The Talk Ourselves Well men’s support group meets in Darwen every Thursday at 6pm. Find out more here.
The national organisation CALM has a freephone number open every evening from 6pm to 12am. You can call them on 0800 585858 or visit their website here.
If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others then please contact your GP, the Samaritans on 116 123 or attend A&E.
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