CAN I briefly talk to you about the point of life?" a religious evangelist asked comedian Mark Watson recently.
Although, rather disappointingly, the man went on only to say a few things about God which didn't quite add up, the subject was sown in Watson's head and he went on to create a whole comedy show around it.
In his new show, the 2006 if.comedy award winner discusses the enormous amount of hassle that is life.
Every day, just to stay alive, we have to spend a large part of our time doing things which are patently absurd, he argues: undergoing security checks when it's quite clear we aren't terrorists because we don't even like the bang when a balloon bursts; choosing between 14 types of butter; dressing up as public healthcare workers to make sex interesting.
All this to maintain a grip on a life we eventually lose, often quite humiliatingly with our children hating us, concludes Watson.
But then again, Watson has always been given to melodrama; at the age of six he wrote his will after losing at Connect Four to his dad.
In the 12 months since winning the inaugural 2006 if.comedy Panel Prize, Watson has made regular appearances on BBC2's Mock The Week, Nevermind The Buzzcocks and Time Trumpet.
We found out the important facts.
HOW DID YOU GET INTO COMEDY?
I entered an open mic competition and won it. After that I was hooked.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH HECKLERS?
I normally try to engage them in repartee, backing myself to win. But sometimes they're incomprehensible, or shouting things that don't make any sense. Then it just gets on everyone's nerves. At that point I signal for them to be taken out and shot.
DO PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO BE FUNNY ALL THE TIME?
Yes, but on the plus side, they often laugh at things I say that aren't that funny, because they're subconsciously thinking "he's a comedian, isn't he?"
HOW DO YOU WRITE JOKES? DO YOU CARRY NOTEPAD AROUND WITH YOU?
I do actually. A little black book. I just note down one-word ideas in there. I never actually write a joke out.
ALL COMEDIANS "DIE ON STAGE" AT SOME POINT IN THEIR CAREER. WHAT'S THAT LIKE?
Oh it's horrible. One of the worst bits is trying to leave the venue without catching the eye of any punters or staff. Also, the self-loathing. That's bad.
WHAT'S THE WORST GAG YOU'VE EVER TOLD?
I used to have a gag about Tesco which nobody ever laughed at, but I was convinced it was funny. I can't remember it now; we parted ways.
WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF HAPPINESS?
I don't think I could sum it up. Maybe that is the answer. Something that's too good to talk about.
WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF HELL?
I suppose spending a lot of time with people I can't communicate with, which is a lot of people.
WHAT'S THE WORST TROUBLE YOU'VE BEEN IN?
I nearly went to court over a council tax bill I forgot to pay. Not very exciting. I've never broken the law on any interesting scale. I plan to do it in my 30s.
UPON WHOM WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO EXACT REVENGE AND WHY?
This girl who used to ignore me at school. There's no obvious way of exacting such revenge because she is still ignoring me.
WHAT HAVE YOU MOST REGRETTED DOING WHILE DRUNK?
While royally drunk in Adelaide last year, I claimed to be a top-class tennis player, ranked in Britain's top 10. I was teased about it for the rest of the festival and repeatedly challenged to a game by people. I don't remember making this claim and I don't know what my drunk self was doing.
WHAT'S THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU'VE RECEIVED?
Do your best.
WHAT FOOD DO YOU LOVE THAT EVERYONE ELSE HATES?
None spring to mind, but to answer the opposite question, I hate cheese and everyone else seems to like it. It can be a bit lonely.
See Mark Watson in Can I Briefly Talk To You About The Point of Life? at Burnley Mechanics on Tuesday, January 29 (box office 01282 664400). The show also calls at The Lowry, Salford Quays, on Wednesday, January 23 (box office 0870 787 5793).
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