THE harrowing tale of life working as a prostitute has been outlined in the diary of one of the victim’s.

Yesterday the men and women who conspired to traffick her were jailed for a total of 16 years.

Police have released extracts of the diary found during one of the brothel raids.

The victim, who cannot be identified, speaks of how her ‘life is falling apart’, loneliness and losing her mind.

In one entry she writes: “I’m no longer a human being and my soul is wrapped in thorns.”

In another she says: “I see no way out of this nightmare, it’s too much and it’s too difficult and painful, the illness on the one hand, love on the other, my family... life is hard.

“My soul is far away and I’m feeling LONELY. Oh, God this is so hard and I’m feeling so bad, that’s it, I can’t take this anymore! The distance... the pain. I wish I could be different. It’s just that my universe has fallen apart and I don’t understand when or what I did wrong, but there’s nothing beautiful in my life. The pain in my heart is making me scream. I wish for happiness and I get sadness, I wish for love and I get nothing but pain. You, Allah, are my witness that my love is with all my heart and soul and I have never cheated on him, not with one word.”

In another entry she wrote: “I fact I must admit I’m not well at all… in fact, I should die because I will never be happy and no matter how hard I fight it will be in vain… Nobody loves me anyway and they all forget about me when they don’t need me, it’s always been like that and it will never change. I’m sorry to admit it but I’m worth nothing and life is nothing but pain, maybe death doesn’t hurt as much as life does… No one’s gonna miss me anyway or maybe they will notice there’s no one there to help them. I don’t want to understand anything anymore and I have no more reasons to live. I just feel so ridiculous when I say I love you and all I get is silence…”

She continued: “You know I was praying last night for you to finish me off. You know I felt like I was swallowing my tongue and I was begging you to do something. Today I’m asking you for strength… the nightmare, the pain and the evil start again, and I find it very difficult to work and pretend to be fine. I really wish I could sleep and not dream about dying and that ugly thing (death) telling me I am going to die! I hate it! I don’t understand what’s happening to me but I can feel it’s not right! I just want to cry all my tears. Well, life, I’m not giving up, you’ll see! Even though pain had made the vapours of my soul come out my mouth, even though I cannot sleep or eat, Allah is great.

“A few grams of liquid going into my blood will not kill me! From now on I swear I will be as strong as possible. So what if I’m losing my hair, I don’t care anymore, so what if I’m dying, if Allah wanted me to go through this I will and keep my head up high. So what if everything that happens hurts I am strong, I am a fighter, I can, I endure. The truth is that it would be a lot easier if I had some peace and support! But even so, I will stop complaining about my fate! I will endure and I am asking you Allah to give me more pain, more misery! I want it to hurt even worse because I know I can take it! I can!

“Actually, I can’t take it anymore. I want this hell called life to end. Help me die! I don’t have the courage to say anything! I must lock the pain and misery in my soul and forget about them! Listen to me, soul, you must do it! Hey, Allah, don’t you think you’ve prepared me enough and don’t you know that there’s a tiny soul waiting for me there? For that soul’s sake, not mine, will you let me walk away alive? I know I made mistakes but what is my child guilty of? Hey, Allah, why did you turn your face away from me? Who cursed me so terribly that I must pay with my soul every single day and in the morning you only wake me up to give me more misery? Hey, Allah, what else do you want from me? How much do I have to lose?”