From David Tebb, Yew Tree Drive, Blackburn.

To help us on the path
To social integration
The planners have come up
With their latest innovation.

Since the effects of names and labels
Can often be profound
The planners have decided
To swap them all around.

As a result, the chief exec
Will henceforth from this week
Be known as the cleaner
To lessen the mystique.

Schools have also changed their names
They're now called pubs instead
And your very friendly barmaid
Is the new name for the Head.

When shopping for your hubby
In your local M and S
You won't be buying trousers
Since they're now called a dress.

With this innovation
The planners hope to find
That we clear out lots of baggage
Which we carry in the mind.