The Apprentice returned this week and with it the egos.

Every time there is any Asian person on any reality TV show there are some things we just can’t ignore.

The Asian person will be rubbish at selling

We know this from experience. Only Saira Khan managed to buck the trend but even she got caught out later. Sales and Asians are not meant to go together. It is the one test where we actually think the Asian candidate is going to excel and then when they don’t we feel slightly let down.

The Muslim person has to work with beer

Finally, a show that actually doesn’t care about sensitivities. I love the episode where they have to do something haram but the candidate is thinking, ‘Well, what the hell, man?’. We love to blame the fact they got booted out was because of the drinks!

The morning scenes and still no shalwar kameez

Please, for once can we have a shot of everyone waking up and the Asian guy sauntering in with his shalwar kameez on. That is what we want to see and please can someone make this happen. In fact, one of the female contestants with Asian dress on in the morning would be OK, too. Asian guy with shalwar and vest on in the morning ... just do it.

Asian guy will be over confident

The Asian guy always comes across as the king for a few episodes until he gets his behind well and truly whipped. We are backing him all the way until his ego gets the better of him and then he realises he wasn’t who he thought he was. Bit like life, really.

That look on the Asian candidate’s face

You know the moment when someone has just made a comment which is a little close to the line. You want to say something but then think, well, he didn’t say it so we will just brush it off.

But then someone in your family automatically claims racism when, of course, nothing was suggested. The thing is they are just candidates and we are more bothered about their race and we think they are representing the whole of Asian humanity when, of course, they are not. But your auntie still thinks they are.