IF ALIENS landed on earth it's likely they'd assume that the first action humans take to improve their lives is to get themselves on TV.

It seems that nowadays we can't keep our marriages together, discipline our children, feed ourselves or keep our homes tidy without the help of some sort of expert to chastise us every step of the way while our humiliation is broadcast to the nation.

Last night everyone's favourite scrubbers Kim and Aggie were back with a new series of How Clean Is Your House? And they opened with a blinder. Grubby Ann and Adam Massingham's country sprawl had gone 10 years - that's a whole decade - without so much as a quick going over with a Flash wipe or a spray of air freshener.

Of course, Kim and Aggie weren't going to stand for that and wasted no time in telling them they were a pair of dirty beggars who needed to get their acts together.

But basic hygiene isn't the only thing we apparently have to turn to TV experts for. The Teen Tamer on five showed us how to make bad-tempered 14-year-olds into normal humans again. Aside from the fact teenagers are supposed to be sullen - that's their job - surely by the time they've got to that age it's a lost cause.

And while getting in Supernanny in to teach your three-year-old not to bite strangers is embarrassing, at least they'll probably never remember it.

But as a teenager, having your tantrums broadcast on national TV, no doubt to the glee of your friends and rivals, seems just cruel. Then again, maybe that's the whole point.