I have no interest in watching celebrities attempt whatever it is they’re not normally paid to do but some TV exec thinks will be entertaining for viewers.

In this case, obviously, dancing.

I have seen this before, briefly, and thought I would have another quick gander to see whether or not I should be in any way concerned about being, ahem, out of step with public opinion regarding this popular programme.

People seem to love it, and I thought it was about time I found out why. Only I never really did.

The fact that Matt Dawson has appeared on this should have been enough to sound the alarm bells, but bravely I positioned myself, wine at the ready, to try to grasp just why Strictly Come Dancing has captivated the nation — I already had one reason in mind, but that wasn’t going to win me many friends, though a quick poll of people in the office at least made me feel that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts as to who would actually dedicate every Saturday night from now until Christmas to watching this. After all, no-one used to watch Come Dancing, which actually featured proper dancers.

First up, the presenters. Bruce Forsyth — now I never really minded him, but really, it was time to call it a day when Play Your Cards Right ended, but this has only served to encourage him to go on. And Tess Daly — the less said the better.

So, to the contestants, and, of course, it’s the usual motley contingent of soap stars and sporting “heroes” who are either past it or can’t be bothered with the day job anymore.

So we have EastEnders’ Scott Maslen (who?) and Kara Tointon (who?) and Coronation Street actress Tina O’Brien, as well as former England goalkeeper Peter Shilton and extremely dislikeable rugby player Gavin Henson.

Elsewhere, there’s Pamela Stephenson, former Blue Peter presenter Matt Baker, and actor Jimi Mistry. Patsy Kensit’s on there, as is Goldie — what the hell is he doing on this?

So, who’s this year’s comedy contestant, the new John Sergeant? It is, of course, former MP Anne Widdecombe, who is paired up to waltz with the annoying Anton du Beke.

Anyway, predictably, Widdecombe’s not very good, but I’m not here to poke fun at her as that’s clearly why the producers invited her on — luckily she’s bright enough to know this.

Underwear model Kara predictably wore the most daring outfit, which is what most of the Sunday papers seemed to think this programme was about, while the odious Paul Daniels managed to finish last. “You’ll like this” — er, no we won’t, Paul.

Even less liked was the somewhat homophobic comment he aimed at gay judge Craig Revel Horwood, which was about as amusing as an average Jim Davidson gag. Not very, in case you were wondering.

Yes, though I can just about appreciate the difference between a rumba and breakdancing, I am aware that the performances, for the most part, are good if you like that sort of thing, but I just find it difficult to care whether or not any of this bunch of overpaid publicity-seeking egotists does well.

The next stop for this lot is, if they’re lucky, panto.