ANYONE miserable about not having enough cash to buy the latest trainers or designer clothes would have taken heart from last night's Britain's Biggest Spenders.

They could well have re-named it "Britain's Biggest Losers" without having to change one scene and nobody would have known the differenence.

The documentary, which followed a group of Britain's biggest spenders, introduced us to some of the most hideous characters seen since... well, you last flicked over to Big Brother. We met Scott Alexander part man, part beast who is Manchester's biggest spender. He owns the biggest penthouse in the city, wears a diamond and sapphire-encrusted Rolex, throws away his £30-a-pop D&G underpants after one wear, and has a bizarre habit of referring to himself as "we".

With skin was so orange at least he could always get work in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Then there was Amy, the 31-year-old Jordan wannabe who was £80,000 in debt after frittering away thousands on ridiculous things including slogan T-shirts for her pet pooch and outfits that looked like they were made from old tights.

Forty-four-year-old Denise got a hefty chunk of her husband's millions in a divorce settlement and had dedicated her life to blowing it on beauty procedures and art.

"I love art," she kept cackling in between double entendres, usually aimed at young boys.

The best was when she was forced to admit her family were gypsies.

The grotesque, vain wannabes could barely string a sentence together that didn't include a designer name. I'll definitely be thinking twice before buying a lottery ticket on Saturday.