THE Champions League on ITV you could tell it was a big night because Gorgeous Gabby had got her special party make-up on.

In fact, the make-up department had gone a bit too far, giving her full-on glamour which combined with her white top made her look like an assistant on a very expensive perfume counter Studio pundit Terry Venables didn't escape either.

The hair gel had been liberally applied and combined with his dark eyebrows gave him the appearance of The Hood from Thunderbirds.

Meanwhile back at the match, Ivy's lad Clive proved once again he is the true successor to Motty.

I appreciate the football commentating must be hellishly difficult but they do talk as though they have discovered the English language by accident and have learned all the words but not understood their meanings.

Take this example from Mr Tyldesley "The enigmatic Henry, expressive as always". Surely a contradiction in terms?

On the pitch, Arsenal battled bravely but I blame David Pleat for their downfall.

No sooner had the pundit declared sagely "the sight is in end" than Barcelona went and scored twice in four minutes and it was all over.

Even if you don't like football you can always find something amusing in the coverage, although you do have to question why, when a football match lasts 90 minutes, ITV devoted three and a half hours to it.