LOOK into my eyes, not around the eyes, the eyes, the eyes and you're under.

Another day, another Richard and Judy conspiracy theory.

Forget last week's alien invasion, they're hypnotised. Paul McKenna was plugging his new book, Instant Millions For Me, erm, sorry, Instant Confidence.

Judy announced National Sick Leave Day and greeted her new audience.

At least she recognises their viewers are, for the most part, whacked out on Benilyn.

"They never go away do they?" Richard said glancing at his shoes, "those self doubts."

McKenna's book, Judy explained, was for "anyone crippled by a lack of self-esteem and paralysed with nerves."

Poor Judy, there's no point pretending.

Richard is a McKenna fan. He likes the idea of creating positive movies in his head to install confidence.

He's always dreaming of a critically acclaimed show, looking like George Clooney with a glamorous blonde sidekick, and you know, there's nothing wrong with dreaming. It's all about lying to your self.

Athletes apparently imagine winning. Forget the gruelling training kids, you just need to think you can climb walls then, watch out Spiderman!

McKenna proved his powers by hypnotising one viewer into thinking Judy is hot. He said he'd bite his pillow thinking of her.

Time to wake up! 10, 9, 8And you're back in the room. Hopefully, without any permanent damage.

Take another swig of Benilyn. There, there.