WHAT! George Galloway pretending to be a cat! It's feeding time in the zoo in the Big Brother house.

The perverse image of an elected member of Parliament licking pretend milk from Rula Lenska's cupped hands, rubbing his head into her lap and purring as he did it left me laughing like a hyena.

The feline-like-freak had a Locke from Lost moment on Celebrity Big Brother last night as he gave the following words of wisdom: "The monkey's laugh in the trees, the lion strolls on." Roar!

Mineral, animal or vegetable? Jodie Marsh memorably asked about an egg. It's a darn good question when it comes to the celebrity primates. Charles Darwin's theory of evolution has been put in a tail spin by Pete Burns, who is neither and is more an alien in accessories. Jodie Marsh summed him up as selfish and hideous.

But he's outdone by the blubbering Barrymore who had one moment of lucidity when Rula pretended to be a gorilla. "That's quite normal."

The TV schedule seemed to be telling us something: Pets Are People (BBC2), Animals (Ch4), Secret Gorillas of Mondika (BBC2), Supervets (BBC1). Viewers, do you smell a rat?

It's time someone put Boo-Hoo-Barrymore down in an act of mercy because the horse tranquillisers clearly ain't working. The alpha males are into grooming, power play and bullying Jodie.

Only Preston and Chantelle have a glimmer of something human. It's time for the safari to begin if only for the sake of the plants the celebrities had to talk to as part of their task. Those poor, poor plants.