NOW I'm not easily shocked but the sight of six minor soap stars belting out flat notes and writhing round the stage like Beyonce made me want to hide behind the sofa.

I'd managed to avoid Soapstar Superstar until last night, but these reality TV programmes always get you in the end.

I just don't get it. Where's the shock in a bunch of soap stars being able to perform? Haven't they all been trained within an inch of their lives at exclusive stage schools since the age of five?

Last night's highlights included Corrie's Sunita getting the boot, perhaps after sharing with the nation the gem: "I don't think I was under-confident today although I might have had the runs this morning." Wendi Peters "vandalised" Macy Gray's I Try' said the judges. I thought it was OK, if only for the fact that I worked out the words were "my world crumbles when you are not here" rather than "I wear goggles when you are not near" which has annoyed me for years.

During his time off from deflowering Rosie Webster, Corrie goth Craig delivered a performance of Elton John's I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues complete with new curly hairdo.

Judge Cilla Black seemed was pleased because she got to say the word "herrr" in her comments.

To be fair, Cilla's comments were the only good bit. Especially her response to Charity Dingle when she appeared to believe she'd turned black.

"You never cease to amaze me, girlfriend," said Cilla. "Keep on working it."

All in all, a load of rubbish. Still, at least other soap stars like it. Ken Barlow even said so.