PHIL Collins? On Room 101? Eh? Are you pulling my leg? Is it all a joke? Phil Collins? The man with the Invisible touch who can feel it (feel what? What's it' all about?) in the air tonight has the gall to go on Room 101?

Enough with the hypothetical questions already.

The whole premise of the programme is doomed because everybody knows that anybody with any sense, decency and a modicum of taste would put the man himself in Room 101.

We're talking about the man who found a groovy kind of love, admittedly against all odds.

Where else could you find the cringe-inducing lyrics that deserve to be buried in a vat of chemicals next to the earth's core: "When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue.

"When you're close to me, I can feel your heart beat I can hear you breathing near my ear. Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love." Groovy baby!

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord... Oh lord indeed.

Mr Collins got the chance to rid the world of TV evangelists (fair do's) and squabbling Oasis siblings, the Gallaghers (fair enough too).

But it just seems wrong and unjust that the Geneva-based tax exile has the right to comment on bad taste.