THERE are certain things which should never really been seen on TV - any proposed series of Big Brother, My Family, Andi Peters ....

To this less than inspiring list may I add an offering currently being screened by good old maverick, Five.

How to Have Sex After Marriage' sounds like the latest Haynes manual released just in time for the Christmas novelty market, but no, it really is a TV programme.

In it, some hapless couple are paraded in front of the TV cameras dissecting their failing relationship.

These poor people even have to rate each other in various categries (I won't go into detail but you can probably guess).

Then they are split up while so-called 'experts' set them all sorts of embarrassing tasks before reuniting them so they can put their new-found knowledge into practice.

Then, rather like How Clean Is Your House?, the cameras return a few weeks down the line to find the loved-up duo cooing about how TV has changed their lives.

Honestly, is this really what we want to be watching?

It might appeal to the more voyeuristic out there, but I suspect they'll find something more rewarding down at the local video shop.

Can you imagine anyone who would actually want to appear on such a programme? I just hope they get well paid for it.

I know they say a problem shared is a problem halved, but sometimes you just don't want to know.