A TEACHER killed herself just months after announcing she was to live as a woman rather than a man, an inquest has ruled.
Transgender Lucy Meadows, who was known as Nathan Upton, left a letter explaining her state of mind and that she had ‘simply had enough of living’. The 32-year-old, who was a year six teacher at St Mary Magdalen’s C of E Primary School, in Accrington, thanked friends and colleagues for their support in the note.
It read: “I try to do things the right way to make people feel more comfortable with it.
“I have simply had enough of living.
“I have no regrets other than leaving behind those who are dear to me and of causing them pain in doing so.
“I would like to thank everyone who has had an impact on my life.”
Blackburn Coroner’s Court heard Miss Meadows, who had a young son, was found dead in a cupboard under the stairs at her home in Ramsbottom Street, Accrington on March 19.
Her body was discovered by Robert Cunliffe, the new partner of Miss Meadows’ former wife Ruth Smith, after they visited her house, concerned they could not get in touch with her.
Miss Smith, also a teacher, told the court: “On the inside of the door, I could see there was a sign that said ‘warning’ on the top.
“It was saying that she had committed suicide and there were high amounts of carbon monoxide in the air and not to enter.”
Miss Smith added that the first time Miss Meadows had spoken about taking her own life was in February and that on March 12 she attempted suicide.
She said: “It was an experiment.
“I asked her why and she said there was not enough to keep her here.”
Miss Meadows was supported in her transition by staff at the Devonshire Street school, where she worked.
Parents were notified about her decision to return to school as a woman in a newsletter last December.
Each class was spoken to about the change by headteacher Karen Hardman.
In a statement at Christmas Miss Meadows said: “This has been a long and difficult journey for me, and it was certainly not an easy decision to make.
“I am grateful to governors and colleagues at St Mary Magdalen's for their support.
"I'd now ask for my privacy to be respected so that I can continue with my job, which I'm committed to and which I enjoy very much."
When news of Miss Meadows’ transition became public, she was the subject of criticism.
Michael Singleton, coroner for Blackburn, Hyndburn and Ribble Valley recorded that Miss Meadows had taken her own life and that the cause of death was cardio respiratory failure due to carbon monoxide toxicity.
He said he had been ‘appalled’ by some of the coverage.
Miss Meadows had contacted the Press Complaints Commision about an article in the Daily Mail.
The commission later found there had been breaches of accuracy, privacy and harassment by the newspaper, the inquest heard Mr Singleton said: “It seems to me that nothing has been learnt from the Leveson Inquiry or the subsequent report.
“Lucy Meadows was not somebody who had thrust herself into the public limelight.
“She was not a celebrity and she did nothing wrong.
“Her only crime was to be different, not by choice, but by some trick of nature.”
Mr Singleton said he was going to write to Maria Miller, Secretary of State for Culture Media and Sport, inviting the Government to consider the implementation of the Leveson Report.
The tragic note left behind by Lucy
This the letter Lucy Meadows left explaining why she had taken her own life.
It used to be that people asked me ‘why’ and say things like ‘you cannot do that’ and stare at me in equal measures of disbelief and pain. It seems today I have made progress as several people have asked ‘why are you still here?’
I try to do things the right way to make people feel more comfortable with it. I have listened to and worked with mental health professionals, but I still see only one path that is right for me. I have suffered loss and pain in my life. I have issues around being trans (gender).
My job is stressful and I have debts. I feel a fraud for even mentioning these things. Plenty of people have greater and more numerous difficulties in their lives.
It was my decision to distance myself from my parents. Me and Ruth would never really have gone the distance and I am thrilled she has found her current partner.
I have trans issues, but they are always improving. The amount of acceptance I have had from friends, family and others in the community has been overwhelming.
Teaching is a stressful job, but one I love doing. I work alongside a great staff in a happy school. I have strategies in place to pay off my debts.
I have had many amazing experiences and good things in my life which I am truly grateful for.
So what then of my decision? I have simply had enough of living. I am not depressed or mentally ill in some way.
I may have different views than others, but this is right for me. All the things I ever wanted to accomplish, I have done. I have no regrets other than leaving behind those who are dear to me and of causing them pain in doing so.
I would like to thank everyone who has had an impact on my life.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel